My friend offered me “adult substances” the other night while we were on the dance floor. I smiled and said no. He knew I didn’t play that way, but asked anyway.
In that moment, he held me to his standards, not mine.
And this is where life gets a little sticky.
He isn’t wrong for doing that.
It’s easy to hold people to our own standard because we know how they work in our own lives.
Many people think that when standards are different than each other – one needs to be right, and the other needs to be wrong. Or one is better than the other. That’s not always the case though. Consider that they’re simply different standards of living.
But when you hold me to a standard other than my own -
when it’s ok for me to miss a workout, eat that gluten-filled cookie, say I’ll be at an event and not show up, date someone I don’t admire, or say yes when I really mean no -
you allow me to live by someone else’s standard instead of my own.
And that doesn’t work.
So next time you see that girl in the office (who has shared her commitment of eating healthy with you) with a half-eaten cupcake on her desk (those delicious ones you love), hold her to her own standards despite what yours may be.
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