My friend offered me “adult substances” the other night while we were on the dance floor. I smiled and said no. He knew I didn’t play that way, but asked anyway.
In that moment, he held me to his standards, not mine.
And this is where life gets a little sticky.
He isn’t wrong for doing that.
It’s easy to hold people to our own standard because we know how they work in our own lives.
Many people think that when standards are different than each other – one needs to be right, and the other needs to be wrong. Or one is better than the other. That’s not always the case though. Consider that they’re simply different standards of living.
But when you hold me to a standard other than my own -
when it’s ok for me to miss a workout, eat that gluten-filled cookie, say I’ll be at an event and not show up, date someone I don’t admire, or say yes when I really mean no -
you allow me to live by someone else’s standard instead of my own.
And that doesn’t work.
So next time you see that girl in the office (who has shared her commitment of eating healthy with you) with a half-eaten cupcake on her desk (those delicious ones you love), hold her to her own standards despite what yours may be.
Pick of the Post: Mumford and Sons – Whispers in the Dark
2 comments
marica says:
March 4, 2013 at 9:13 am (UTC -7)
Awesome post Matt!! I was actually reflecting on this today with a new friend while we were getting down to work at a coffee shop. Being away from home, it’s easier to be the ‘me’ I’ve decided to be and want to be in life. The challenge will be coming home and helping others understand my new standards for myself! Thanks for the post and giving me the encouragement that when this exciting leg of my journey ends, coming home will be like a long-awaited hug of acceptance for my new growth and new me. xxo
Matt Corker says:
March 4, 2013 at 3:17 pm (UTC -7)
We can’t wait to have you back in Vancouver!