“Forgive and forget” is a phrase commonly heard when trying to move on from a difficult situation. The problem with it is that it rarely works or serves us in the long term.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean what they did was right or what you did was wrong. It doesn’t mean you need to forget what was said or to pretend like it never happened.
Forgiving someone means you are withdrawing your right to hold something against them. You let go of your right to be angry, hurt, or disappointed by them. You also give up your right to align your actions with those feelings. No more cold shoulders. No more short tempers. No more degrading comments.
In exchange, you create room to see and treat them in a new light. One that allows you be happy, powerful, and at ease with who they are in your life.
I find this concept to be most powerful when I forgive myself.
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Getting Over a Break-Up Doesn’t Work » Matt Corker says:
November 5, 2012 at 7:36 am (UTC -7)
[...] may also require granting forgiveness to the other person or ourselves. By completing a break-up or argument, we give ourselves the [...]