Your Family’s Influence on Your Leadership Style
“It is in the family that we first develop a sense of our identity, our values, our aspirations and our expectations for life. It is in our families that we have the least examined and most determining experiences. Because our family life was so powerful in influencing our views of leadership and because we often maintain an unconscious barrier to recognizing its impact, it is difficult to uncover the lessons we have learned and the messages we received.” [Source]
As I went around to the different Christmas celebrations with family this year, I was reminded of this passage that was quoted in a paper I read in Global Leadership: Portraits of the Past, Visions for the Future. (This is an annual volume I receive by being a member of the International Leadership Association – a great group to check out if you are interested in the study of leadership.) The paper I am referring to is Dr. Marjorie E. Blum’s “Self-Defined Leadership: Exploring Family History to Enhance Future Leadership”
In her paper, Dr. Blum shows that “family profoundly influences leadership beliefs, values, styles and behaviours” and that “without awareness of the impact of their family, many potentially successful leaders have been derailed through family-based and unconscious choices.” She also mentions that “family psychologists have observed that we often re-create our family roles within work and social spheres” (i.e. If you are the peacekeeper of your family, you most likely play a similar role in work environments).
To help you better understand how the complexities of both your extended and nuclear family impact you as a leader, Dr. Blum offers these dimensions to explore:
- Cultural history – How has your cultural identity shaped your actions and value system?
- Rules – What was determined as appropriate? When did you find rules appropriate and when were they restrictive?
- Pivotal events – How did you celebrate accomplishments or defining moments? How did you handle change, stress or challenges?
- Roles and labels – What is your “assigned role” in the family?
- Hierarchy – How was power and responsibility organized in your family? How did you feel about how decisions were made?
- Boundaries – Who did you feel comfortable talking to? How often did you talk? What did you talk about?
- Relationship Management – How did you show intimacy? How did you handle conflict management
Just looking back on the past few days with family, it is amazing to see what principles still play a role in my life today. As I start planning for the year ahead, I am feeling just that much more self-aware about my personal limitations and where I can really rock people’s socks off! Bring it on 2010 – my family and I are ready for ya!
Pick of the post: John Mayer – Heartbreak Warfare
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