Compromise this!

To some “compromise” is the base of a healthy relationship or of positive workplace negotiations. There needs to be some give and take to make things work, right? Well, I don’t always agree with that because I believe there is a better option.

Stephen Covey, in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, sums it up the best in my opinion when he talks about the different levels of communications based on the amount of trust between the individuals and the amount of cooperation (teamwork/collaboration) required.

In short:
Defensive communications are Win/Lose situations.
Respectful communications are compromises.
Synergistic communications are true Win/Win situations.

As he writes: “Compromise means that 1+1=1.5. Both give and take. The communication isn’t defensive or protective or angry or manipulative; it is honest and genuine and respectful. But it isn’t creative or synergistic. It produces a low form of a Win/Win. Synergy means that 1+1 may equal 8, 16, or even 1,600. The synergistic position of high trust produces solutions better than any originally proposed, and all parties know it.”

If compromise takes the existing options and makes the most out of them, then synergy creates new options for a solution that both parties enjoy more. So why do we continue to settle for 1.5s when we could be having 1,600s!?! The idea that we could create a 1,600 is just too good to pass up by compromising.

That being said, and as Stephen Covey agrees, there are some situations where synergy is not achievable (darn it!). “But even in these circumstances, the spirit of sincere trying will usually result in a more effective compromise.”

So set your sights high on a 1,600, but be ready to show the person you are communicating with that you trust them enough and want to genuinely cooperate with them to create a Win/Win – regardless of its magnitude.

Pick of the post: Matt & Kim – Daylight (watch the video)

Related posts:

1. You + Me = No Deal