My first (public) critic!
“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Today was the day when Americans were reminded to live a life of service to each other.
Today was the day when I got to sit down with an incredible woman, NJ Thompson, to talk about what life looks like for her now that she is staying in Vancouver.
Today was also the day that a good friend of mine became my first (public) critic of my blog!
What an incredible day!
I’m sure many more of the people who read my blog find things that they don’t agree with or that don’t sit well with them. In this case, my friend actually sent the following note to a friend of his (and then forwarded me a copy, just as an fyi). Please read and enjoy this little snip-it:
“… don’t get me wrong, I love Matt Corker, but I really REALLY can’t deal with the self-help-inspirational-speaking-over-promise-and-over-deliver philosophy. It makes the rest of us look bad. And not only that, but it can even be a self-destructive and highly defeatist position for the rest of us. I don’t want to over-deliver, and frankly, I don’t want anyone else to, either. I think we all need to just relax, take a breather, and stop trying to out-compete, out-shine, out-do the next guy. Part of his manifesto, after all, is about why ‘the other guy’ got what you wanted, which means his argument inherently rests on the notion of competition.
… I think good, even great, should be enough. I’m not talking about mediocrity here (although i don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with just ‘getting by’, frankly), I’m just talking about not having such impossibly high standards for once. I’m not talking about lowering the bar, I’m just talking about not setting it so bloody high.
Because then maybe the rest of us can get 8 hours of sleep a night and take our weekends and lunch breaks, and finally not feel guilty about it.
so that’s what I say.
with love and admiration,
xxx”
As you may guess, I have many things to say to rebut what was said in this message. But mentioning the fact that I view competition as an internal thing (a personal best is all you can demand from yourself as it’s the only result you can control), or that too often people don’t even set a bar to work towards (let alone a low/high one), or that I continually enjoy all my weekends and lunch breaks with my friends (and not my work), wouldn’t be the same as saying thank you.
I say thank you because I love hearing feedback – especially from an educated mind like his. It makes me think about what I am doing and makes me question how I can be more true to the purpose of this blog (and my life). My friend is a truly remarkable person (and a self-proclaimed over-achiever too) who has done some amazing things in his life – or at least amazing enough that he has created a following of people that highly respect him and his opinions. And, as you can see, he certainly is opinionated! That’s probably why I enjoy talking to him so much. I love when people are bold enough to stand up for their opinions.
And so I say thank you to him by rewarding his ability to take a stand with this blog post.
Great ideas and people are never pushed to achieve greatness unless there is some resistance. Someone telling them no, that’s a bad idea, or that it isn’t possible. You can’t please everyone, so don’t waste your time trying to. The best remedy – embrace your critics. Encourage them to come back to critique you again, thank them for their constant evaluation of your work. Your critics are of HUGE benefit to you, but too often we are quick to write them off as nay-sayers or pessimists. Your critics will be the ones to keep you in check and your feet planted firmly on the ground. But just because your feet are on the ground, doesn’t mean you can’t keep your eyes looking forward and your head in the clouds.
Opinions are great. Agree with them, disagree with them, but have one! Even better, voice it…
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